When the sun is shining, and the palm trees blow in the wind, all I can do is smile. The warmth from the sun hitting my face to darken my freckles is such an amazing feeling. But what do I do when these things happen, and I don’t smile? Everything on the outside aligns, but the connection isn’t made to the inside.
Well, I take a step back and figure out why the connections aren’t happening. I try to find out why the usual things that make me happy, aren’t making me happy. Nine times out of ten, with God I can figure out the issue to solve it. But on the rare occasion when there just isn’t an explanation, I start to question God. And this can be dangerous, for many reasons. One question leads to another and at the end of the day you are left with unanswered questions and a load of doubt in your head. Doubt can and will, slowly make us go crazy. The uncertainty that creeps into our mind comes straight from a place of darkness, not from God. This darkness grows as we question God and question everything that makes us happy. We cannot let evil work its ways into our lives, only GOD.
I recently had an experience where I started to disconnect from everyone and the things I enjoyed. This happened because I was experiencing stress from family and school work. I slowly started to become unhappy with the things that used to make me happy, without even noticing. My friends, school, youth group, even my favorite foods couldn’t put a smile on my face. Then I started to question God and became angry with myself for not ever being happy. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t finding pure joy anymore. After about three weeks of this, I finally said enough is enough. I took a break from the superficial things in life. I started becoming more proactive and talking to people who are helping me find joy again. In those three weeks, I questioned God regularly and thought I just failed at everything in life. But, after letting the negativity go in my life, the positive things and people started to come back.
God knows what we struggle with, and he will never give us more than we can bear. In times of doubt, with ourselves and God, we must disconnect from the earthly things and focus on the ultimate goal-heaven. There is no place we can go where His love won’t find us. No place we can hide that He won’t see. HE sees it all, through the eyes of love. We must remember this and continue to the next day with joy and a mindset for the future. We always need to enjoy the sunshine!
-xo Madi Wade